Do you ever feel like you walked away from something really good? Because I do.

Looking back on where I was at this time last year, it really is incredible to see how much can change in just 365days.  It was this time last year I was in the beginning stages of what would become one of the most painful chapters of my life – an experience I’m realizing I never actually ever even remotely touched on in my weekly updates.  When I look back on those writings from the months that followed, I see the change in how I shared my life with those curious enough to read.  A shift at the time I thought was a creative decision, when in reality it was a coping tactic to escape and hide away what was going on at the time.

It's been just over 6 months since I was able to finally shut off that chapter (more or less) and have been able to take back control of my life.  Being back in Australia, while in a lot of ways feels really exciting and freeing, has also brought back up a lot of the emotions I felt during that time. 

Very few people know the depth of my final months in Australia on my last Visa, and as I continue to come to terms with it all, I’m finding a way to finally be able to share this experience with those curious enough to know, and for those who maybe need the reminder that they’re not alone in these experiences. 

It’s a big one that will take time to properly flesh out in a way that feels true - and safe - to share;  But coming back here has definitely forced it to weigh on my mind a lot more than I expected.

My time back in Canada was everything I was wanting it to be – filled with healing and connecting.  I’ve never felt more loved or connected to the people I was surrounded by than I did during my 7 months home.  Both through better investing my time into past connections and forming new ones.  7 months and I still didn’t seem to have enough time to see all the people I wanted to or do all the things I had hoped.  But it did give me everything I was needing.

It's hard feeling like I just walked away from that… but that’s the trade-off you get for wanting to travel long-term.  You have to say goodbye to things you love more frequently… and it never gets any easier.

Lots of people have been checking in on me since I left, and it makes my heart feel even more full when I reflect back on my time back home.  I do mean it when I say I’m doing good here; but it is challenging because it feels like there’s so many more tethers connecting me back to Canada this time around, making the transition back to Australia feel so much more challenging…

Even though it’s challenging, and I have many moments of wishing I was back in Canada, I really do want to make the most of this time I have here.  It’s not often you get to just live in a van in the mountains with minimal financial responsibility, access to tons of climbing and hiking, seemingly endless time to do whatever you want, live in a country with a ridiculously high base salary (once I find a job lol)… It really is such a blessing and a gift I’d be crazy not to take advantage of.

I want to use this time to continue healing, to focus on building out this creative business, to continue to hold myself accountable with my goals, to learn more about how I can navigate this lifestyle more sustainably (both environmentally and health-wise).   I want to not take this time for granted, or wish it away, or try to make it go by faster.

This life already goes by so quickly… don’t try to rush it even more.

Stay passionate and curious.
Hunter💛