Diary of a traveller: The blessing and curse of having your heart belong to many places

How does one decide what is the right decision when you feel called to be in more places than one?  How do you decide between two completely opposing life paths that both feel like the right call but also absolutely insane? How do you “listen to your heart” when your heart belongs to many places?

My heart has felt heavy these past couple weeks and has made my brain question itself on an endless loop, while battling between what is the “right” decision.  To get on my flight back to Canada? To push it back to April again? Or to cancel it all together?

In the end, there is no right decision - all you can do is decide, and make it right.

I think you know you’re lucky when you have the privilege to call many places home, have community in multiple countries, and love people from all over the world - even if it must be from afar for most of your lives.  What I wouldn’t give to have all my loved ones at an arms length wherever I go…. But instead, I’m stuck with the travelers curse of having to love and support from afar, never being around for all the big life moments, always missing out on fun events.  You never feel like you stick around long enough, but also feel like you stay in one spot for too long…no matter where you are, who you’re with, or what you’re doing.

It can feel pretty overwhelming, like you’re constantly disappointing people, like you’re always just out of reach.

You’re experiencing life in ways most of these people only dream of, and frequently comment on how much they envy and wish they could live the way you do. But what they don’t see or know is that there’s always a part of you that sometimes kinda wishes you could be happy with a more simple life that isn’t filled with constant goodbyes, packing up and moving your life, and telling your loved ones “I’m sorry but I won’t be around.”

—

This was written and left in the drafts almost 3 weeks ago… some of the sentiments remain the same, but the trajectory has shifted a bit.  I’ve decided to leave it as-is, rather than “finish” it. Stay tuned for an update.

—

Stay passionate and curious,
Hunter 💛