No. 56 | Full Circle: Making your dream life a reality
I think one of the coolest things in life is seeing the little moments that come full circle. As I begin writing this, I’m in the middle of a project with Matt and Daygin for an outdoor footwear commercial.
A thought that frequently pops into my mind is “would anyone who’ve known me since I was a little kid be surprised by how my life has turned out today? Or would they look at my life and go ‘yeah, that makes sense.’”
When I think about who I was as a little kid, it’s flooded with memories of me setting up a tent in the backyard and sleeping outside for the whole summer instead of in the house; climbing trees and racing my bike around the neighbourhood; playing imaginary games with my friends and sisters; filming and editing random videos/trailers/short films with Sam; loving animals and wanting to go vegetarian; writing short stories but putting the pages backwards so you were flipping left to right; taking “artsy” nature photos on my first iPod touch of the crocuses blooming in spring; scrapbooking and crafting in my spare time; carrying a book and my camera around EVERYWHERE I went…
Really, when I look back on my childhood, the dreams I had, the things I wanted to do in my spare time, and aspired for myself – I can’t help but smile when I look at my life today. I now live in a van and am outside all the time; I write and share my work on a weekly basis to be read by the public; I climb, hike, camp, kayak, swim, meditate as much as I can; I get paid to support other creatives and yoga instructors in their businesses, and to create alongside/for other businesses (like graphic designs, photos, and videos); vocal environmentalist and 7 years vegan; modelling for outdoor brands…. It feels kind of surreal.
I just remember my teen years spending so much energy trying to fit in, but also fighting internally and externally with what and how my peers and closest friends stood for, valued, and acted. I always felt like an outsider in my own group but never understood why. I struggled to understand why I always felt so conflicted in my actions and decisions and have spent a lot of years feeling guilty for disappearing from these relationships without any explanations or conversations.
Looking back on my life now though, I can clearly see the amount of misalignment I was navigating for a good 5+ years. I spent a lot of those years conforming to what was expected of me from my closest friends, feeling ashamed for many parts of myself, and never feeling truly myself – or more so, feeling like the things I wanted to do and be a part of were bad or wrong. I attribute a lot of these feelings to be caused by the fact that I became heavily involved in Christianity and a very Christian friend group – I won’t dive into that more in this post but can definitively say the best thing to ever happen for me was to leave the church and get out of an incredibly toxic, manipulative, and hypocritical religion.
When I think back to who I was as a little kid and how my life has turned out today, I can confidently say that little me would be excited for the future. Even though it meant going through some pretty horrific trauma’s… she’d be proud of the person she’ll become, and how she’s managed to overcome these tragedies, and she’d be so excited for all the fun and beautiful things that are yet to come.
It's easy to get caught up in the day to day, the negative, the down spirals, the grind, the expectations, the societal norms…. It’s easy to think we have to live life in certain ways; to fall trapped in the external pressures and ideas that living the way our child-like self isn’t possible. It’s easy to believe all the barriers others believe are insurmountable and think they also apply to you…
But I’m a firm believer that if you truly want something, you can make it happen. Life can be whatever you want it, you just have to want it badly enough, and be willing to do whatever it takes to make it happen. The people who are telling you things aren’t possible or realistic, are people who have given up on the dreams for themselves, and don’t see how they can be possible. These aren’t the people who will truly support and guide you where you want to be. They’ll be the ones watching from afar, judging/admiring your life without any true understanding of the possibilities of making dreams a reality.
People are out there living your dream life, why can’t you?
Stay passionate and curious.
Hunter💛
Some questions I’d like to leave you with (share your thoughts in the comments!):
What are some things you loved to do as a kid that you wish you could still enjoy today?
What barriers do you face when it comes to these activities? How can you eliminate or navigate these barriers?
Are there valid reasons you can’t still enjoy these activities today (like financially or physically) - or - is it mostly fear of judgment and/or a lack of prioritization for these activities?
