No. 55 | Life in Review and a Year of Quiet Healing
2024 was a year for quiet healing.
I keep scrolling through my photos, flipping through old journal entries, looking through my old Instagram posts, and can’t help but compare all the lives I’ve lived in such a short period of time.
Looking Back: The Lives I’ve Lived (2019–2023)
2019 and 2020 were years of great loss and taking ownership of my life. I lived abroad for the first time; lost my grandma; lost my mum to mental health; watched countless long-term relationships in my family come to ends; lost my 2 year relationship; dove really deep into environmentalism and veganism; almost dropped out of uni; experienced intense love-bombing and heartbreak for the first (second?) time; graduated my bachelor’s program; let go of old friendships; went on my first solo trip and started hiking solo; went tree planting and met my soul-friends; moved out of my childhood home and rented with friends for the first time.
2021 was a year of generally just coasting, with some of the typical “early 20’s lessons.” Started working at a Zero-waste Grocery store and quickly moved up within the company; got into a car accident and had to navigate physical recovery; was able to buy a new electric car thanks to insurance; moved out of the rental house and let go of more old friendships that didn’t feel right; moved in with my partner of 1 year for a short period of time; made the decision to start looking for places to live on my own for the first time.
2022 was my year of true self-discovery, growth, and empowerment (and probably my favourite year). I lived in my own apartment; rented out my own electric car; in full swing of my manager position at a job I loved and with a team who inspired me; made big decisions and LEFT this job; got so many tattoos; fully embraced and loved my time being truly single; best financial position I’d ever been in; deleted social media for 9+ months; travelled Hawaii for a month with my sister Kennedy (and didn’t kill each other); started playing guitar pretty much daily and actually learned full songs without the need of sheet music (after 15+years of knowing how to play the instrument), became of form of meditation and therapy for the first time; found consistency in physical activity and Yoga; started learning Spanish; went on my first solo overnight hike; took a sailing course; got my 200hr YTT certification; applied for my Australia Visa; moved out of my apartment and sold my car…
2023 was a year of living my dream life/biggest bucket list experience, and also losing myself, all at the same time. I moved to Australia; bought and renovated my first van (!!!!!!!!!); learned how to drive busses and work as a tour guide in the Outback; visited the Great-Barrier Reef and the Daintree Rainforest; completed my first thru-hike (230+km on the Larapinta Trail); started regular therapy again; volunteered with Sea Shepherd on a 2 week remote beach cleanup and got to photograph for them; volunteered at a music festival (and attended my first music festival!); navigated my first relationship abroad… but also got trapped in an abusive relationship…
The Challenges of 2024: Pain, Healing, and Letting Go
2024 was a year for quiet healing. I made the hard decision to end my travels and move back home; bought and renovated my second van; became an official business owner (HB Media now called Golden Hour Collective) lived in a dodge caravan for 6 months; properly got out of the abusive relationship and cut all communication; navigated the emotional ups and downs that came with that; volunteered as a photographer for VIMFF; made some of the best friends of my life; spent so much time in the mountains climbing with new and old friends; learned to lead climb; got my first Virtual Assisting job; got my first official modelling job for an outdoor brand; went on my second solo overnight hiking trip; got back into photography; connected friends from different parts of my life; reconnected with a past (and very healthy) love; said goodbye to our beloved family member, Prika, at almost 16 years; returned to Australia; confirmed my second modelling job for an Australian outdoor company (happening in 2025); made the decision to come back to Canada (AGAIN), sooner than originally thought; went public with my story and allowed karma to take care of the rest.
Rediscovery and Growth: Shedding Layers to Become Myself
As someone who loves to document life through photos and videos and share these moments - When I look back on what I shared publicly over these years, it feels like I forgot to capture key moments throughout 2024. At first, this made me feel quite sad. I started focusing on all the hard things I dragged from 2023 into 2024, and how much of my time was spent navigating an incredibly deep pain and sadness I didn’t understand, as well as having to rebuild the confidence and self-worth I’d just spent the past 3+ years putting so much work into building.
But then I allowed myself to remember WHY there wasn’t much documented this past year.
I was allowing myself to just be. Rather than putting all my time and energy into projects or work or random hobbies ALL the TIME. I allowed myself the space to truly feel my emotions. I cried. A lot. I put myself out there... A lot. I felt uncomfortable… a lot. I retreated inwards; I spent more time with family; I found the right balance between solo time and time with friends + family. I spent more intentional time outside. I stepped out of comfort zones. I became really fucking brutally honest with myself. I got better at speaking up and not taking shit from anybody. I’ve begun to learn how to better manage my nervous system under different circumstances. I’m becoming more patient, more understanding, more empathetic, more open; While simultaneously becoming less quick to judge, less tolerant, less “blindly” trusting, and less scared.
I feel as though I’ve shed a million layers, released the heavy weights, let go of the people and things that cause me pain. I feel like a caterpillar finally melting into a butterfly. I feel as though I’m finally coming out the other side of all the terrible shit I’ve gone through, and finally becoming truly better for it.
Lessons Learned: Gratitude for the Hard Shit
I feel sad for the loss of my past self, and the external losses that have come with it. But I mostly feel overwhelmingly grateful for all of it – all it has brought me, all I’ve learned, all I’ve experienced, and all the relationships I have today because of it all. A part of me wishes I never had to go through the worst of it, but the other part of me knows I wouldn’t be half of who I am today if I hadn’t gone through it all. I wouldn’t have become brave enough to do half the things I have at 26 years old; I wouldn’t have had the capacity to recognize the parts of me that needed to change; I wouldn’t have let go of the relationships/friendships that were only keeping me and my world small; I would probably still be neglecting and hiding a large part of who I truly am; I wouldn’t have learned how to be there for myself or how to regulate my nervous system; I would probably be working a job I didn’t enjoy but felt I had to do because I went to school for it; I probably wouldn’t have seen as much of the world as I have; I probably wouldn’t be pursuing the things I truly dreamed for myself when I was a kid; I would probably be navigating life with an unhealthy amount of fear and inability to properly acknowledge the state of my mental health…
If I hadn’t gone through the hard shit and learned how to get through it, I think I’d be very lost and even more disconnected from who I truly want to be and am becoming.
We don’t have to like the shitty experiences, but we can learn how to be okay - if not better - because of it.
Life, I believe, is whatever you believe you can make happen. I remember telling a friend I first fell in love with Australia because it felt like I was getting so many opportunities I’d always wanted and dreamt of; It made my dream life feel possible. Only to return to Canada to also feel like I was getting everything I’d been wanting and hoping for in terms of community and dream career connections and life experiences. I remember my friend syaing “you can succeed no matter where you go.” And it’s been in reminding myself of this energy, these words, that I know, so long as I follow what is feeling right, I’ll be okay. No matter where I go.
Here's to 2025 and whatever it has in store.
Stay passionate and curious.
Hunter💛
Some questions I’d like to leave you with (feel free to share your thoughts in the comments!):
What was your biggest lesson from 2024?
What’s one piece of advice you’d give to someone going through a difficult time?
If you had to describe your 2024 in one word, what would it be and why?
Have you ever experienced a year where you focused more on being than doing? How did it feel?
