The Purpose Behind a Personal Project
I thought for my first ‘healing’ post, it would be rather fitting to discuss personal projects, seeing as they’re no stranger to me – as many of you probably know.
Personal projects are interesting in that they often require a lot of time and effort – depending on how in depth you go – and are almost like a second job. They’re more than a hobby, but they’re also not a source of income… so why invest so much time, effort, resources, and (sometimes) money into them?
If you’ve known/followed me since 2016, you’re probably familiar with my first ever project: Project 52. A yearlong photography blog I created as a way to build connections, skills, and ultimately a reason to get me out of the house.
The second project (which I still want to re-assess and bring to life in the future) was Project Plant Your Future (PPYF). A project that was sparked after, and inspired by, an old high school friend who passed away suddenly – a friend who came in many passing moments throughout my life, whom inspired and impacted a lot of people. I’ll never forget him telling me about his goals for university and future career/life; summarizing it in the end so simply with “I just want to do something that makes a difference.”
Then came the beginning attempts at a travel blog in 2019 while I was studying abroad. This one was rather short lived, but I think truly the beginning of what you see now today.
Interspersed throughout this you’ll find various backgrounds, hobbies, skills, courses, etc. All having required various levels of commitment, engagement, and learning (from hairdressing, to culinary, to architecture, to photography, to tree planting, to zero-waste management, to yoga instructor, to sailing course, to tour guide…). All this to say: I don’t know what I’m doing or how to stop, and who knows if I ever will.
What I have come to learn is that creating projects is a form of healing and processing for me - But it’s a fine line. The line between healing and hiding. The line that dictates whether I’m using the project to work through my emotions in the way a painter uses their art to process and share theirs, or using it as a distraction to avoid what I’m really feeling. A perfect example of avoidance for me, while it wasn’t a project, it certainly became a large part of my life, was diving deep into vegan and environmental activism during my final year of university right after my mom passed. When I wasn’t working on assignments or sitting through classes, I was online, consuming a lot of doom and gloom content that was happening all around the world (this was not long before, as well as during the beginnings of 2020, so there was certainly no shortage of doom n gloom…). It was rewarding, and felt like I was making a difference by sharing information I was coming across. I had so many people (from close friends+family, to complete strangers and everything in between) reaching out with curiosity as well as admiration and support (both giving to and seeking from me). I felt seen, important, and needed during a time where once everything was shut off, only darkness consumed me. I genuinely believe this helped keep me alive and sane, but in hindsight, it was also providing a very productive distraction – keeping me from actually processing the trauma my family and I were going through.
Which ultimately, I think, is why it’s taken me so long to create another project. The amount of times I’ve written “create a new personal project” as a goal over the last few years is actually ridiculous. I’ve wanted to create something so badly, but never found the right inspiration or direction I wanted to head in… until now. Golden Hour is a concept I’ve been sitting and reflecting on since my Hawaii trip with Kennedy back in September of last year, but for so many reasons, it never felt like the right time. And of course, imposter syndrome would creep in. Who am I to be writing about mental health or the environment when I’ve never studied either? Who am I to be sharing information about traveling, or posting weekly updates about life oversees? What makes me think people would even care or read my rambling/mundane thoughts? It’s thoughts like these that hold us back, and its thoughts like these that give me even more reason to create.
I create for me. While of course the thoughts still come up, and the “why aren’t more people viewing/liking my work” show up. But ultimately, it’s the creative outlet that allows me to express myself in various forms that motivates me to start and continue, and seeing the support flow through (sometimes immediately, sometimes over time) holds me accountable. The longer you invest in something, the more you begin to learn of just how many people, people you never even thought still remembered you, are cheering you on.
Creating the projects creates community, inspiration, connection, growth. They remind me how beautiful life can really be, and just how wonderful people really are. They keep me curious and ever-learning. They create an outlet for processing, while inspiring and connecting people. They remind me of all the good this world has to offer, while working through the hard parts. Because that’s just it. Life can be both beautiful, and absolutely fucking awful at the same time – But it’s learning that while both are fleeting, the beautiful will always win if/when you let it.
Let me know if you’d be interested in a follow-up post talking through my processes of creating + maintaining a personal project, and my tips for balancing one with everyday life.
And as always…
Stay passionate and curious,
Hunter💛
