No. 53 | From Scratch to Strength: How Starting Over Builds Resilience and Growth
I read a quote this week that said something along the lines of “maybe it doesn’t feel like you’re reaching your “full potential” because you keep raising the bar. If you took a step back, and looked at your life, you’d realize you’ve already achieved so much of what you’ve always wanted.”
The Wisdom of Starting Over
As someone who’s felt like they’ve been knocked down repeatedly by life altering, traumatic events, and feels like they’ve had to start at square 1 more than once - let this be a testament and reminder that every time you’re starting over, you’re starting wiser.
The challenging experiences that took away your capacity to fully be yourself or fully invest in yourself, gave you the opportunity to grow and learn just a little bit more than the last time.
While it may sometimes not feel like you’re reaching the expectations you set out for yourself or are getting knocked down more than you’d like - you’re making more progress than you realize.
Life’s Not a Race: Letting Go of the Clock
This life is short, but it also has a lot more time than we give it credit.
It’s hard to not get caught up in the racing thoughts of feeling like I’m running out of time to do all the things I want in life, especially when I’ve felt like I’ve lost some of those opportunities. I keep reminding myself I’m only 26 and have already done so much – and then look at those who are older than me, and all they’ve accomplished in short periods of time. I remind myself that so much is possible when I take care of myself and allow myself the capacity to take action. It is possibly to claim back yourself, even after it feels like there’s nothing of you left to reclaim.
Reclaiming Yourself Through Passion and Purpose
Part of sharing my story and reclaiming myself is getting back into side projects and freelance work I love.
Having the mental and emotional capacity to work on personal goals/projects and with other incredible entrepreneurs again feels exciting and fulfilling.
One of the biggest things I felt I lost during the abusive relationship and the immediate recovery afterwards was my ability to show up for myself and others. I had incredible opportunities, like getting to create and write for Sea Shepherd, do trade work with my physiotherapists; But my inability to show up for myself bled out into these relationships, and ultimately kept me from performing at a quality I knew I could and really wanted to – or, from performing at all.
The Ripple Effects of Struggles on Relationships
When talking about going through low periods, people often leave out the impact and ripple effect it has on our relationships. Keeping on top of catching up with loved ones becomes draining, the work you were once so excited about suddenly feels like a burden, your romantic relationships build tension, you start to drop out of extracurricular activities + hobbies because you’ve lost all physical energy to even show up. It’s even harder when you’re far away from all these people - it’s easy to leave messages unread or unanswered, it’s harder though to admit why…
You withdraw from all aspects of your life, which in turn puts strains on your relationships, especially if you don’t know how to communicate you’re struggling, or fear the reaction you may get by opening up.
I’ve learned though, that people are typically a lot more understanding and compassionate than we give them credit for. And the simple action of saying: I’ll respond at a time I have the capacity to be thoughtful in my response,” or telling someone “I’m at max capacity atm, but would like to find ways to still make this work in a way that works for both of us” goes a long way.
Rest is Productive: Building a Sustainable Foundation for Growth
I was conflicted on whether this post belonged under my connection or healing blog, which reminded me why I even started this whole project to begin with. It’s about showing the interconnectedness between mental health and environmentalism as a traveler, and the ways in which these three overlaps – sometimes they’re separate, sometimes only two overlap, and other times all 3 come together (may have finally just come up with a logo idea in the midst of writing this sentence lol TBC). I’ve had to take many pauses with this project over the past (nearly) two years – but each time I come back; I’m only ever adding to it… never taking away.
Meaning: even if you need to disappear for 6+ months, the work and progress you made in the past, will still be there for you to come back to. Maybe you dropped down from 100+ monthly views down to 0 during this time (referencing my website for the sake of this example), maybe it feels and seems like you’re starting with nothing… but the groundwork has been started, the foundation has been built, and is there for you to stand back on whenever you’re ready.
Sometimes we need to take a step back to fully step up.
Stepping back to be able to properly take care of yourself, will only further help you succeed. Rest is productive. Put the oxygen mask on yourself first before the passenger next to you. Add whatever other cliché about taking care of yourself first here - because it’s true. And when you do… success will surely follow (as has the views by springing up to nearly 500 monthly 🤯).
Words to Carry Forward
A stranger recently shared these words with me, and I wanted to share them with anyone working through a hard time, coming out of a hard time, or finally on the other side of the hard time:
“None of these experiences are wasted. You just grow every time you learn from an experience. You’ve not only done that you’ve put together information that will give someone else the knowledge you acquired so painfully, just a little bit easier… Use the learning, ditch everything else, continue moving forward in your best life. Keep making images that delight you, that document your unique perspective and your images will inspire and remain substantial long after you’ve moved onto other subjects, countries, and people. Don’t look back mate! Go hard and go forward...
As always...
Stay passionate and curious.
Hunter💛
Some questions I’d like to leave you with (feel free to share your thoughts in the comments!):
Have you taken a step back to reflect on how far you've come in life? What did you discover?
What ripple effects have challenges had on your relationships, and how have you worked to repair or strengthen them?
What projects or passions have you stepped away from and now feel inspired to return to?
